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There was a time when me and my friends used to drink heavily and dance like crazy people. When the club shut we ran back to our roleplaying club and improvised different scenarios, many which contained horror, sex and gunplay, very similar to Return to the house on haunted hill.
When six drunks can come up with a story in fifteen minutes ten times better than this one, one might just ask: How in the hell could this be made?
Story: An idol of Baphomet (which in actuality is a bad figurine resembling Cthulhu) is placed in a basement of a mental hospital, for some reason. Pornstar lookalikes and former wrestlers go to this place to retrieve this idol and gets killed in violent ways featuring such killings as a brain being ripped out of a mans skull and a woman having her head gooifyed by a flying refrigerator. Marvelous.
It also features the classic horror movie muppets such as the-stop and-run women with long hair and wet feet seen in ALL Asian horror movies, the eyeless monster (an Ittenbach favourite) and a few porn actresses in minimal nurse outfits and a lot of mascara.
Plot holes: Why would the house be left unattended by the authorities from what happened in the first film?
Why did all the ghosts try to stop the heroes from getting the idol when the house wanted to present the statue to the world and spread its evil ways?
Why didn't the statue have any impact on the world before it ended up in the hospital.
Why do the ghosts wait to attack the heroes until the movie has the right mood for violence and horror?
Why is the electricity on?
How could the hospital be rid of the haunting by throwing the idol in to a sewer? And why does this heavy figurine, which seems to weigh at least 3 - 5 kilos, float like it was made out of plastic?
How is this connected in any way to the first movie. What happened to that computer animated blackness in the first film and why does the hospital look different in it's architecture (on the inside)?
Rating: There is no humour, no self irony; everything is dead serious in every scene. The scenes when people walk alone in dark hallways they feel the need to have stupid monolouges like: "Hm, this hallway is to dark and spooky. I'll better enter anyway. Hm, who is breathing down my neck? Ah well, I better press forward so the ghost can kill me in a lit up room further down?"
This could have been fun to watch like Ittenbachs movies but instead it renders the viewer the feeling of unispiration just like Boll's House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark or the horrible travesti Day of the Dead 2 - Contagium.
And the most fun part was when I predicted the ending, although this scene comes after the end credits. Apart from inventive killings and horrible over the top violence most scenes have already been made. To real movie buffs it's fun though, that the acacdemic investigator is called Hammer and the name Price is mentioned, this can be hommages to Hammer Horrors from 1960's and 1970's produced in The United Kingdom and these often featured actor Vincent Price.
In all, this is a dull session with few or barely anything new material at all.
score 1/10
soulassassinx 13 January 2008
Reprint: https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1799809/ |
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12-5-2020 02:47:11